


Your Kabobs are Chocobo Turd

by KairaKara101



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Comfort Food, Drinking, Food, Gen, Slice of Life, transgender original character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 19:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12514460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KairaKara101/pseuds/KairaKara101
Summary: After an extremely demanding deployment, the Glaives return to Insomnia for a night of relaxation even if it's a place none of them knows about other than Luche.





	Your Kabobs are Chocobo Turd

“Holy hell! Astrals tell me that was the last of them.” Libertus exclaims as he wipes his brow with the back of his hand. The daemon that they were fighting falls to the ground with one last roar.

“Looks like it to me.” Pelna states while pushing a stone to the side and dusting himself off. 

“Thank the Six, I never want to fight one of those daemons again.” Crowe straightens up after her extensive magic use, glancing around them. “Where the hell is Nyx?” As if called, Nyx comes over with a smug grin, twirling his kukuris in hand. 

“What? Miss me that much?” Nyx smirks at them. Crowe shoves him with an amused smile. 

“Show off.”

“Heh, I got the skills to back it up.” Nyx retorts still grinning.

“Are you children done?” Luche inquires leaning against a broken wall with his arms crossed. Grime and dust covered all of them from head to toe. They all snap their attention over to him. He gives them a unamused tired expression. “We're done here pack it up.” Luche pushes himself off the wall as he heads towards the vehicles that would take them back to Insomnia. Pinching the bridge of his nose while exhaling slowly, he still had to report to Captain Drautos. He just wanted a warm meal, scalding hot shower, and his bed. Not the stack of papers that Captain Drautos had handed to him right before deployment and then writing up the field reports. Luche walks up to Captain Drautos and waits silently.

“Report, Luche.” 

“All daemons have been neutralized and the wall continues to hold, sir.” Luche reports monotonously watching him walk past him to take a look for himself. “There have been no signs of any Niflheim Squadrons in the area, sir.” 

“Load everyone up, time to return to Insomnia.” Captain Drautos orders as he walks back to his vehicle. Luche nods before ordering the glaives to load up. The ride back to Insomnia is quiet. Everyone is all too tired to make conversation and those that have energy are quietly whispering among themselves. Sitting on the bench across from Nyx and Crowe, he watches the landscape go by, silently. Nyx nudges Luche's shin lightly making him glance over with a blank expression.

“We were going to get some drinks, you want to come?” Nyx whispers with a grin. Luche raises a brow and shakes his head as he leans back against the frame of the vehicle.

“I'm choosing then.” Luche answers, rolling his tense shoulders. Crowe makes a face next to him. “Don't worry, Crowe. The alcohol is great there, and I can get it to you at a discounted price.” Luche says, grinning. “I assure you that the food also better than that chocobo turd that we always get.”

“Don't diss the kabobs!” Libertus says from his corner of the vehicle. Shaking his head and staring him down, Luche looks at him in disbelief.

“Says the one who keeps dissing the kabobs to the chief's face, every single time.” Luche points out as Pelna stifles a chuckle next to him. 

“It tastes like shit, but it's one of the few places that we can get them.” Libertus retorts, glaring at Luche as if daring him to continue his argument. 

“While meat is great with alcohol, don't you think you should widen your palate?” Luche inquires resting his arm along the back window. Crowe watches from the other side of the vehicle amused. Nyx and Pelna share a glance at each other, smiling at the group antics. The comms buzz and Luche fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Luche? Can we come too?” 

“Six, I didn't think you guys were listening too. You can come but I'm not paying for your shares.” Luche answers calmly. He's going to have to make a phone call when he gets back into Insomnia. He hears Tredd whoop out with excitement and there was a sound that sounded awfully like a fist bump. Luche pinches the bridge of his nose as he sighs quietly. Pelna pats his shoulder in understanding.

“You should have figured, Luche.” Pelna states as he leans back against the frame grinning widely. “You buying our first round?”

“You fuckers.” Luche mutters under his breath. 

****

Luche leans against the wall as he makes a phone call. He's only dressed in his casual fatigues after an extremely scalding shower. The others were taking their time with their clean up at the Glaive Barracks. He made sure he was out sooner rather than later. The phone rings a few times before it gets connected and he can hear the bustling noise of people talking loudly along with the clinks and clacks of bowls and plates.

“Hello, this is Caihio's. How can we help you?” A voice inquires on the other end. Luche smiles knowing the familiar voice.

“Hey, pipsqueak it's me.” Luche has to move the phone away as he hears the voice squeal in excitement.

“Luche! Oh, it's so good to hear from you.”

“Yeah, good to hear you. I was wondering if I could make a reservation for 8? I know it's pretty last minute but-”

“Let me check.” the voice says as the sound of papers flipping could be heard over all of the other noises. “Hmm, oh lucky! I can stick your group in at 7:45pm, would that be okay Luche?” Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Luche makes some quick calculations. It would take the team a least another five minutes to all get out and dressed, if they make a quick pace they should be able to make it to the 7:00 train which would then take them about give or take thirty minutes to get to the stop, then another twenty minutes to walk to the location. Luche frowns at the math and does it again to check.

“Could you make it 8pm? Or hold the table?” Luche inquires as he pushes off the wall to walk over to his papers that were haphazardly scattered on the table. 

“We can hold the table for you, Luche. See you soon?” The voice asks hopefully. Luche purses his lips as he shuffles the papers.

“Yeah pipsqueak, I'll see you soon.” Luche answers before hanging up and organizing the mess. Hearing familiar footsteps, he continues shuffling the papers into the correct order.

“Do you ever stop working?” 

“Yes, I do.” Luche deadpans putting the papers into a folder and dropping that into a small bag. He glances up to see Nyx leaning against the door frame. 

“So where we going?”

“That's a secret and you'll just have to wait and find out.” Luche states grabbing the bag. Nyx raises a brow as Luche walks past him. “Come on, I got to drag those children out of the showers. Hello Crowe. Good to know that I won't have to yell into the women's shower.” 

“What are you, our mother?” Crowe questions as she follows next to Luche and Nyx, whose also grinning. Luche levels her with a unamused expression. “What?” She blurts out with a shit eating grin. 

“You're all shits and I hate you.” Luche states monotonously even. 

“You know you love us.” Crowe replies cheekily. Luche releases a huff as he stops in front of the men's shower. Crowe starts snickering just as Pelna comes out. Pelna glances at Luche and smiles patting his back. Nyx raises a hand in greeting to which Pelna answers with a nod. Libertus manages to sneak out before Luche could even open his mouth grinning and high fives Crowe. Luche stares up at the ceiling letting go of a breath walking inside and giving the trio an expressionless bitch face.

“If you're not out of this room in three minutes, I will leave you behind.” Luche points out before turning on his heels and leaving the room. 

“How's their stuff?” Crowe inquires with that cheeky grin of hers. Luche closes his eyes as he tries to not regret meeting these people. 

“Go ask them.” Luche retorts evenly. The trio comes out at exactly three minutes with their stuff. Luche gives them a quick look over before walking out of the headquarters without a word. The group talks among themselves as they head off in the direction of the place. Nyx strolls up next to Luche and studies him quietly.

“You alright?”

“You're carrying them if they get smashing drunk.” Luche answers calmly. Nyx blinks while making a slight groaning noise.

“Ah come on Luche. There's more of them than me.” Nyx complains softly. “Could you take one at least?” 

“I'm buying the first round, do you think I have the energy to drag a drunken ass back to their apartments?” Luche states calmly, “Then again, they shouldn't be getting smashing drunk anyway. We do have work first thing in the morning.” 

“Yes, mom!” Crowe interjects snickering. Nyx watches as Luche's expression changes from exasperated to resigned. Pelna chuckles next to Luche as they continue their walk to the restaurant. When they arrive at the place, most of the Glaives stand gawking at the sight. It's not an extremely expensive place, but it's not something most of them were used to frequenting. Luche walks in with ease while the others follow behind like wide-eyed ducklings. Though Nyx and Pelna take it in stride.

“Luche!!” A young teenager with a quiff hairstyle comes over smiling and embraces him in a tight hug. Luche ruffles his hair and smiles softly.

“Pipsqueak, long time no see.”

“Ah, Lu! He told me that you'd be dropping by with a group.” An elderly man said softly with a smile and a tilt of his head. The group blinks in surprise as an elderly lady comes out of nowhere and smacks Luche on the back, making him lurch forward a bit. 

“You should have said something sooner if you were dropping by, boy.” She says with a raised brow looking over her glasses and a lopsided smile.

“Sorry, it was a bit last minute.” Luche replies shrugging a bit, his arm still around the kid's shoulders.

“Well, go on. Don't let us stop you from relaxing, Lu.” The elderly man urges them off before he returns to work with the elderly lady. The teenager takes them to a table with enough privacy for them to be rumbustious without bothering the other guests. 

“Should I just put in an order for the usual Luche?” The teenager questions as they look at the entire group excitedly. 

“Make it three pots and the usual drink for all of them,” Luche answers as he watches the group take their places around the table. “Actually make it four pots, and any other drink they get it goes on their own tab. I'm buying the first round.” 

“Okay, Luche. All spicy?” The teenager inquires as Luche huffs out a small laugh. 

“If they can't handle that spicy, then they can't call themselves Glaives. You know the rest?” Luche says softly, the teenager nods quickly and runs off. Luche turns back to see all eyes on him and with varying degrees of surprise and amusement. “Out with it.” Luche orders as he sits down. 

“You're a regular here.” Tredd states still blinking. “I was looking at the menu, and it's not exactly expensive but it's not exactly super cheap either.” Sonitus was glancing at the drink menu with Axis nodding along with his quiet mumbles. 

“I am. Your point?”

“Pfft, he called you Lu.” Libertus snickers with Crowe. Luche rolls his eyes, exasperated. A woman comes over to their table with a tray of beers. 

“Welcome back, Luche.” She says as she passes out the drinks. “Tough day?” Luche scoffs quietly.

“You know how children can be.” Luche answers watching the varying reactions from his fellow glaives. Libertus chokes on his drink as Tredd's jaw hangs open. Crowe's grinning like a Cheshire. Pelna's chuckling while Nyx is sitting across from him looking smug. Axis blinks owlishly while Sonitus glances up briefly before returning to the drink menu. “Exasperating.” The woman laughs brightly as she pets him on the shoulder.

“Seems like your children are just as bad as mine.” She states calmly with a smile and winks. “If you ever need to put them to sleep, send me a message.” Luche smiles and shakes his head.

“Nah, I can do that myself. A few well-placed commands and they're all dead anyway.” Luche says softly with a wide sweet smile that sends chills down all of their spines.

“Gotcha. We'll be bringing out the food in a bit.” She says to the table before glancing back at Luche, “You should hear how the kitchen is right now, Luche.” The kitchen which was next to the restrooms. 

“You're inviting me to the kitchen again?” Luche responds as he hears spluttering from down the table. It sounded like Tredd if Luche was honest.

“These children can take care of themselves for a few minutes, it'll just be a quickie.” She says knowingly with a smug smile. Nyx glances between the two of them curious. Pelna takes a gulp of his beer. She feeling bold, grabs Luche's hand and tugs on him. “Come on.” Luche sighs softly, pushing up from the table, he turns and levels the entire group with an expression that says 'behave yourselves'. He hears Crowe and Tredd mutter quietly under their breath 'yes mother.' The woman drags him off towards the restrooms but just before reaching it she pushes Luche into the kitchen instead. “Guys, look at who I picked up.” The entire staff glances up from their work with the widest smiles on their faces. 

“Luche!” “Lu!” “Oh my six, it's Lulu!” 

Luche splutters at the last nickname and lets his shoulders drop with a unamused face though he's used to their antics by now.

“Good to see you, man. I'm guessing you're not here to hang with us are you?” the head chef inquires as he sees the casual battle fatigues.

“Yeah, sorry.” Luche replies softly, the chef comes over and gives him a tight hug, lifting him off the ground by two inches. Luche pats his shoulder awkwardly. 

“You need to drop by more, you workaholic.” A server says as they walk past Luche and the chef to grab a tray loaded with meats and vegetables. 

“Why? To work more here? You guys are going to kill me by workaholism.” Luche points out and brushes off the imaginary dust once the head chef puts him down to return to work. The server walks past him again and taps his shoulder with a smile.

“It's really good to see you, Luche.” The server says softly before disappearing through the door. 

“You should go and return to your group. We just wanted to see you since it's been a while.” Another waitress says gently working on the different plates. 

“I figured as much.” Luche says before waving to them all and disappearing out of the kitchen. He walks back to the table drinking and talking about one of the other glaives and all around citadel gossip. “What did I miss Pelna?”

“Councilman Clarus's newest email. He just sent it out.” Pelna states calmly. Luche frowns as he sits down next to him and across from Nyx. 

“What did the email say?”

“That the Glaives should stop messing around so much when off duty and what not.” Pelna answers shrugging, “You know what all the Glaives are up to don't you?”

“Your faith in my ability to know what every single Glaive is doing is astounding and I am impressed, but who in their right mind would want to know what every single Glaive is doing at any one time?” Luche says while picking up his beer. Nyx chuckles into his drink. 

“You say that Luche, but the Glaive paperwork goes through you and Captain Drautos.” Nyx points out with his finger point at him. Luche shakes his head while the four spicy hotpots are placed down at even intervals on the table along with all the different varieties of meats and vegetables. “So you would know what every Glaive gets themselves into.”

“Yes, like that one time you lost the Crown Prince because he managed to disappear underneath your watchful eye?” Luche deadpans as Nyx shakes his head lightly and kicks Luche's shin from underneath the table. Luche grunts and glares at him. “Seriously, Nyx?”

“Heh,” Nyx huffs out smug. Luche rolls his eyes while everyone starts to dig into the spicy hotpot. Surprisingly the team quiets a bit when they're eating, of course, that only lasts so long before they get loud again. Axis is probably the quietest out of them all and he seems to be enjoying the food. Luche finishes his food and puts an arm on the table with his head in his hand watching as the rest continue. Despite how annoying these guys can get at times, Luche sighs quietly watching them all fondly. Good Astrals, no wonder they call him the mom of the group. Despite what he says, he'll most likely end up helping Nyx carry the drunken ones home and dropping them on their beds and if he's feeling kind, he'll leave a glass of water and an aspirin on their nightstand. Luche snaps out of his thoughts when the young teenager comes and sits down next to him on the bench tugging at his arm. 

“What's up, pipsqueak?”

“Done with my shift. Are these the ones you've mentioned?” Their eyes are practically glowing at the thought and Luche has to shift a bit to let go of the embarrassment that comes from Nyx, Libertus, and Crowe smiling smugly at him. 

“Yeah, that's them.” 

“Oh my Astrals, it's a pleasure to finally meet all of you. I'm a huge fan!” The teenager squeals out excited. 

“Fan?” Libertus blurts out staring at Luche and back at the kid. “What the hell has Luche been telling you, kid?”

“So many things! Oh, I don't even know where to start.” The teenager says in reply still in awe of them. Pelna laughs softly as he watches from Luche's other side. 

“Stress relieving Luche?” Pelna inquires, chuckling still. Luche shrugs as he relaxes against the table.

“You guys are stress inducing. One of these days I'm going to die of something you guys did.” Luche answers as he sips on his beer. He debates ordering another one but shelves it quickly. There was a stack of reports to go through in his bag. 

“Are you Nyx and Libertus?” When the teenager gets a nod from both of them their eyes widen with happiness, “I could tell because of the braids in your hairs. Wow, it's really them, Luche!” Luche nods, releasing a breath amused. The teenager beings their barrage of questions occasionally asking Crowe for tips on how she maintains her amazing hair through all that fighting. Closing his eyes briefly as the memory of having a meal with his parents burns on his eyelids. It makes his heart ache knowing that he'd never see either of them again and that they'll never get that chance to enjoy another family meal together. Luche glances up to see Nyx looking at him concerned. Luche promptly ignores it and turns his attention back to the teenager. “Sweet six, really! That's amazing Crowe, please teach it to me sometime.” Axis throughout the entire thing munches quietly on the food taking in all the little nuisances that the group exhibits and how Tredd and Sonitus have started a competition to see who could eat the most or how Pelna is content to sit and watch the team without saying much. He sneaks a glance over at Luche to see the melancholy and the quiet contemplation as he sips on his drink. 

Luche gets the bill and stares at it for a bit. Shit. He's more tired than he thought. He pulls out a card and just hands it to one of the waitresses with the bill. He'll worry about the price of the thing later. Once he gets the bill back he signs it and leaves it on the table. The rest of the team gets up to leave. The teenager comes over quickly and hugs Luche from behind tightly before he can step out of the store. 

“Luche...”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for talking to my grandparents for me.” They whisper into his back. 

“Of course pipsqueak. Any time. Plus, you have to ease them in a bit too with changes that are that drastic.” Luche states calmly as the team watches from the door with different expressions each saying something but nothing Luche has the energy to decipher at the moment. The teenager steps back with the brightest smile on their face. 

“Do you think I tricked them? Your friends?” The teenager questions softly. Luche laughs softly, ruffling up their hair.

“Yeah, they probably didn't notice at all which makes me wonder if I should train the shit out of them for not noticing subtle things like that.” Luche responds grinning, “Be comfortable with who you are, pipsqueak and don't let anyone tell you what you're not. Cause this world is out to stomp on anyone that it likes.” Luche smiles tiredly. “I'll catch you later, and do me a favor if those guys ever call you that again, you call me so I can send some violent punch happy Glaives at them. These guys have too much energy if you ask me.” The teenager smiles and nods while waving goodbye to the rest of the team. Luche waves as he leaves the shop. Pelna leans against him as he walks back towards the sector where most of them live. 

“That teenager has had it tough.” Pelna whispers quietly.

“Yeah, it's been tough on them. They came into work one time with a black eye.” Luche states calmly, even though his hands clench at the memory. Pelna raises a brow.

“You worked there before?”

“Heh, yeah. Plus you can't say no to that elderly couple.” Luche replies fondly. “Now let's get these huge ass children off to bed, so I can go finish those damn reports in peace.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oops, my hands slipped and Luche took over the piece. Leave comments, kudos, bookmarks! Every little bit makes my day! Cheers until the next fic!


End file.
